A competitor has a patent pending on my technology

As already communicated by Mary, if patent is already filed and pending than your application will most likely refuse but I have a different view than Mary before even going for any of these option you need to go Validity/Invalidity and even before licensing technology, you should conduct a Validity Search to see whether the licensor has a legitimate claim to the patent. Similarly, a Validity Search can confirm your patent claims and potentially increase or decrease the fees charge for licensing technology.

Also I like to know one thing before filing patent why you didn't did prior art search or novelty report. Experienced attorney or lawyer in IP field conduct this search, just to save few dollars not you have increased you litigation cost. If you have seen a patent attorney before, your situation would have been different. As per your information please note that US is first to file now, as Mary already communicate as they filed first and have priority.

But even before going for license and other option, I recommend you to do
1. First and foremost conduct a validity/invalidity search which give you clear picture whether you are infringing their patent or not.
2. If yes than please seek permission from them for license/Assignment agreements but before going for licensing conduct Infringement analysis report search as mentioned before to check novelty in their patent technology.
3. If you can proved prior commercial use hire an attorney to raise objection now or you can raise objection on publication of such patent by patent office but that would be too late, you have to prove your case and for that you need attorney.

In your case validity/invalidity search is very important without this you cannot continue and take necessary steps, it might be the case that your both patent is infringing someone else's patent, first and foremost get your status clear. Let us know If you like to go for same, we can help.